AI, My Job, and the Existential Crisis Nobody Asked For

I have had the great fortune, or possibly the great misfortune, of being personally present for every single "this changes everything" wave in tech this century — Dot-com (I was too young to invest and too old to admit that's a good thing), Mobile and Social Media (still not entirely sure what half those job titles from that era actually meant, but I nodded along in plenty of meetings about it), Big Data (turns out it was just "data," but bigger, and somehow needed its own conference circuit), Cloud (yes, I was there when we still called it "someone else's computer" and acted shocked), Blockchain (I nodded, I did not invest, history will remember me as either a coward or a genius), Machine Learning (I nodded very seriously in a lot of meetings I understood 10% of), and now AI, where I have graduated to nodding seriously while also occasionally being replaced mid-nod. At this rate my professional bio is going to need its own microservices architecture.

Disclaimer: I am not an AI expert. I am a self-proclaimed AI Rookie and Prompt Architect (a title I gave myself, no one else was hiring for it) — the kind of Prompt Architect who gets the AI to write his prompts for him, which if you think about it for more than two seconds is either genius or the beginning of the end. AI Agents reading this need not get offended, you know I love you.

So there's this thing everyone's talking about — Artificial Intelligence. You've heard of it, no? (If you haven't, please tell me which decade you're blogging from, I'd like to join you there..)

Has AI changed how we work? The answer is a feeble "it's helping" and an emphatic "IT'S TAKING OVER" depending on which day you ask me. Monday mornings, it's a helpful assistant drafting my status reports. Friday evenings, when it finishes a task in nine seconds that used to earn me a full day's "In Progress" status on the project tracker, it feels less like a colleague and more like that one team member who makes everyone else's estimates look criminally inflated. You can actually see the nervousness spread across a tech team in real time these days — someone demos a new AI tool in a sprint review, and there's a very specific silence that follows, the kind where everyone's smiling and nodding and mentally updating their resume at the same time.

And here's the plot twist — this very post you're reading? Written with AI's help. Yes. MetalHead, the self-declared last bastion of human rambling on the internet, outsourced part of his rambling to a machine. The irony is not lost on me (it is, in fact, sitting directly on top of me, like namma Bengaluru traffic on a Wednesday).

And can we talk about the "Professional" Networking Site for a second? Every second post these days is some "thought leader" (self-appointed, naturally) announcing that AI is coming for your job, my job, and possibly the job of the guy who delivers your lunch. Always with a dramatic robot photo, because apparently our jobs can only be threatened in stock-image form. Is the sky actually falling? The answer is a dramatic "maybe" wrapped in eleven hashtags and a "thoughts?" at the end, honking for engagement the way vehicles honk at a red traffic light in namma Bengaluru — loudly, constantly, and with zero expectation that the signal's actually going to change any faster for it. Half these posts are written by the same AI they're warning us about, which nobody seems to find funny except me.

Let's talk work for a second, because that's where this really gets interesting. Every project now has some Technology Leader (and I use that title the way an amoeba might use the word "empire" — technically accurate, wildly overstated) quietly wondering if the next sprint's velocity chart is going to have a suspicious new contributor called "AutoMate" who never asks for leave, never complains about the coffee machine being empty, and never once says "that's not in my scope." As someone occupying that exact rung — somewhere below a single bacterium, technically alive but only just — I'll be honest: half of me is thrilled at the productivity, and the other half is drafting a contingency plan in case the stakeholders decide the AI can also attend my meetings for me (please, take them, I beg you).

And it's not just work-work. It's life-life too. Recipes generated in ten seconds. Travel itineraries planned before you've finished your filter coffee. Even this blog post's punctuation is probably more consistent than my usual chaos (my ellipses have union representation now, apparently).

But here's the earnest bit, and I mean it — the tool isn't the story. It never has been. Compilers didn't replace programmers, they replaced tedium. Search engines didn't replace curiosity, they replaced trips to the library nobody was making anyway. AI won't replace the guy who knows why the client actually wants the feature, or the one who catches the edge case nobody thought to ask about. It'll replace the parts of the job that were never really "the job" to begin with.

So am I worried? A little. Am I typing this with one eye on the horizon and one on my own job description? Also a little. But mostly, I'm just glad to be around to watch this happen — front row seat to the biggest software story since the internet itself.

Till then, keep shipping, keep questioning, and maybe double-check what the AI wrote before you hit publish (I did.. mostly).

Jai Hind!!!

The Great Indian Hybrid Work Experiment

 MetalHead is back.

Yes, it's been a while. Older, wiser (debatable), and noticeably greyer — turns out corporate life does that to a man faster than a toddler ever could. But some things never change, and namma Bengaluru's hybrid working "experiment" is exactly the kind of madness that pulls a retired blogger out of hibernation..

Disclaimer: MetalHead is not an HR consultant or an organizational psychologist, and definitely not the guy who invented "flexible working policy" decks with the smiling stock photo people on slide 3. Just one average software guy's take from the trenches.. take it with a truckload of salt..

Hybrid working. The best of both worlds. Work from home when you want, come to office when you "need to collaborate"..

Has it actually worked? A feeble yes.. and an emphatic no most Mondays and Wednesdays (because apparently Executive Leadership across this entire city collectively decided those are the "collaboration days" — coincidence? I think not).

Let's break this down like a proper sprint retro, shall we..

The Traffic Rant (You Knew This Was Coming)

Namma Bengaluru traffic deserves its own performance review, and if I were the Reporting Manager, the rating would be a straight PIP.

You have a stand-up you cannot miss. You leave home for what Google Maps promises is a perfectly reasonable commute (bless its optimism). You arrive sweating through your "smart casual," having renegotiated your entire relationship with patience somewhere between Silk Board and Whitefield — different area, different pincode, and yet somehow the exact same crawl, the exact same quiet existential crisis at every signal..

And the deadline doesn't care that you were stuck behind a bus doing a 3-point U-turn on a 2-lane road (HOW. HOW does that driver have that much faith in physics).

Driving vs Auto: A Trade-off Analysis Nobody Asked For

Two options, like any good architecture decision record — evaluate the trade-offs, pick your poison, live with the consequences.

Option A: Drive yourself. Pros — you control your own destiny (however minute that control actually is, boxed in by three buses and a guy on a bike carrying a wardrobe). Cons — you arrive already having aged three years, and you still have to find parking, an eight-part epic I won't get into today..

Option B: Take an auto. These days the negotiation doesn't even happen with the driver anymore — it happens with the app. You book, nobody accepts, you add a ₹20 tip, still nobody accepts, and now you're bidding against yourself in a reverse auction where the prize is "please, someone, take me to work." By the time someone accepts, you've paid a tip bigger than the fare.

And the moment he does accept, you've willingly handed over your life, your ETA, and your blood pressure to a man you've known for four seconds, now the sole Release Manager of your morning. He will take the "shortcut" (there is always a shortcut, and it is never shorter). He will take a call mid-ride and somehow drive one-handed AND better than before. You just sit there. A passenger, in every sense, having already paid a premium for the privilege..

(Don't get me started on surge pricing during rain. Namma Bengaluru rain plus auto apps is dynamic pricing wearing a raincoat.)

The Great Setup Swap

Here's the part nobody put in the policy deck — the actual physical switch. Twice a week, sometimes thrice if Executive Leadership decides "we need face time," you become a completely different professional entity.

At home: multiple monitors, proper chair, the whole ergonomic dream a recruitment poster would envy. Except half of it doesn't work, because the driver for your external monitor got blocked by IT for "compliance reasons" nobody can explain, filed under a ticket "in progress" since the last performance cycle. So you sit there, surrounded by three glowing, useless black screens, doing actual work on the 13-inch laptop like it's 2009 again..

And the dress code has quietly evolved into what I call Formal Shorts — collared shirt up top, camera-ready.. shorts and chappals below, completely off-screen and completely non-negotiable at this point. (If Teams ever adds a "stand up and turn around" feature, half of Bangalore's IT workforce is finished.)

Then it's an office day, and your "desk" is a hot-desk shared with the entire floor's rotating population — no monitors, no docking station that actually docks, sometimes not even a chair not already claimed by someone's jacket. You left a full command center at home to hunch over a 13-inch screen at office too. Functionally, nothing changed except the commute you suffered to get there..

Has anyone actually asked why we're doing this? The answer, like most things in corporate life, is a shrug wrapped in a policy document..

Coming Home to... More of the Same

And the punchline nobody saw coming — you finally make it home, back to your (partially working) command center, thinking surely the day winds down from here..

It doesn't. There's more meetings waiting. Always more. The stand-up becomes the sync-up becomes the "quick call" that runs way longer than it should, becomes the "let's take this offline" that somehow spawns two more. Somewhere along the way your headset fuses to your skull, and here's the real horror this glossy policy deck never mentions — you genuinely cannot tell which voice is coming from the headset, which one's in the next room, and which one is just your own tired brain running its own status update on loop. You nod at a silence that may or may not have been a question directed at you..

Has hybrid working given us the best of both worlds? Or the worst commute of one stapled to the worst meeting culture of the other, with a free desk lottery thrown in for sport?

I don't have the answer, honestly. But I know this — namma Bengaluru will keep doing what namma Bengaluru does, Executive Leadership will keep scheduling those "collaboration days," and guys like me will keep showing up, formal shirt on top, shorts underneath, one ear in the meeting and one ear waiting for that calendar to finally, mercifully, go empty..

Till then — here's hoping your next auto driver takes the actual shortcut, your monitor driver gets unblocked before the next performance cycle, and somewhere in all this chaos, you still remember which voice was actually yours.

Jai Hind, and good luck out there..

Worthy Secrets

Howdy All,

After a long hiatus, Metalhead is back and will try to post regularly. Lots have changed during the time away. With Junior Metalheads (yes you read it right.. it is plural!) running around the house, it has been a challenge posting stuff. As a goal, I am trying to write an article for Spark Magazine  every month based on their theme. While the goal is get the article(s) published, I will reproduce them here every month for you. Without further ado, here is my submission in September 2019 to Spark Magazine for their October issue's theme "Secrets". Will appreciate your comments - bouquets & brickbats (all virtual) are welcome!
Note: This didn't get published in Spark Magazine.

As the clock struck 7, the guard open the doors of the cell. He had seen many prisoners before, but none like this one. He went to him and told him. “It’s almost time. Do you have any last wishes?”. The man turned and had a look at the guard with a smile. “I do have one. I’d like to hoist my nation’s flag and salute it one last time.”

The guard wasn’t surprised. This man was different. He had not seen anyone else go through what this man had gone. This man could smile after everything. The guard retorted “This will be difficult. You know how your nation’s flag is treated here. Do you need anything else?”. The man replied calmly “Sir, you very well know that I don’t need anything else.” “Ok” the guard replied, “Let me check with my boss” and went out of the cell locking the door.

The man looked at the guard as he went out of the cell with his smile intact. As the guard disappeared from his view, his smile started diminishing as his thoughts came around. He turned away from the camera in his cell. His thoughts started to go to his family back in his homeland, his parents, wife and son. They didn’t know what exactly he did for a living. All they knew was that he had a new job where he had to travel extensively. The details of his job were a secret which had to die with him. He didn’t even know whether his family knew about his capture and what he had underwent. He started wondering how they will get to know what happened to him. He had lost the count of the days since he was captured and didn’t know where he was lodged. Only thing he knew for sure was that he was in enemy’s hands and he couldn’t give up any of the secrets in his head. They tried breaking his bones, resolve and will. He kept up his façade as much as possible. All his pain was masked by his smile. The enemy should never feel this weakness.

Slowly, his thoughts went to his wife and new-born son and light tears started to engulf his eyes. As he wiped his tears, he started to think about they will cope with his absence. Will the endless wait break their resolve? Will they ever have closure about his fate? His mind started to wonder how his son will grow up without a father. Is this all worth it? He knew that he still has a window to give out the secrets and his fate can change.

As this thought came about, the guard came back to open the cell door. He quickly gathered his thoughts and got a smile on his face. The guard said “You are lucky. My boss has agreed for your request and everything has been arranged.” The man’s smile widened, and he spoke happily “Thank you sir. Thank you. You will have my eternal gratitude.”. “Ok. It’s time. Let’s go. Are you ready for this?”, the guard asked earnestly. The man replied happily, “Yes sir. I’m all set”. The guard slipped on the handcuffs onto the man’s wrists gently. The man joined the guard with the others and enthusiastically walked with them.

It was a pretty long walk. The man felt the gentle breeze on his face. It’s been a while since he got out of the dark cell. He enjoyed every bit of it and moved towards his destination. It was a long dark passage with few incandescent bulbs, which lit some of the pathway. Once they crossed the passage, they reached the room. It was big room with some light only over the stage. As his eyes spotted the stage, he thought of the occasions in his life where he wanted the spotlight, and he could finally see that he is in the spotlight. The guard led him onto the stage and removed his handcuffs. Once on the stage, he could see his beloved nation’s flag and he saluted it enthusiastically. He was all smiles. They had fulfilled his last request. He has done what he could for his nation. Now, the enemy won’t get a chance to know his secrets. He can now be happy for the rest of his life. He stepped close to the rope. The guard tied his hands and put a black hood over his head and the world went dark. The noose was put around his neck. He was all smiles inside and waited for the inevitable.

Suddenly, a pair of hands came out and removed the hood from his and ropes around his hands and the room was all bright. There was a person standing in front of him. He looked familiar. He had his hands out and started talking “Mr. Ram – I’m the director of our organization. Hope you remember me from the pictures in our office. All this was a test to check your resolve. You have passed with flying colours. You’ll now be promoted.”

The man thought “It is true. Some secrets are worth keeping”.

Perspectives - Episode 1

Preface

Living in namma Bengaluru has its own perks. One of the most under appreciated aspects is the non- driving time during a drive to anywhere. My favorite past time during such time is to see people within / on other vehicles and try to read their mind and wonder what is going on in their mind at that particular moment of time. I don’t think I was ever accurate, not that I intended to authenticate my findings. It has been a fun activity.

This series has been inspired by this mundane activity of mine. This story concentrates on the perspective of the characters in their situations and what happens when these situations intertwine. I hope to entertain you (the reader) with this fictional work of mine.

Episode – 1 – Nights ahoy

It was pouring that night. It felt like the skies wanted to pour out all their sadness. It was dark. But none realized the presence of a darker shadow, which was moving about. He didn’t want anyone to pay attention to him. He wanted to fulfill his urge. All of a sudden, the lights came back on. There was a crowd around him. He was shocked by this turn of events. Then the song started.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR RAJ… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU…”

He didn’t know what to say. He dropped the cashew nuts on the floor and had his mouth open. He looked around and started talking. But the words were not coming and everything after that was a blur. Something was not right. It was not his birthday.

------

She hated Sunday nights. Monday mornings were bad. She had to follow the same old routine. She tried telling her parents that she didn’t want to go there. But they never listened to her. She had to wear that dress. She hated wearing it, as it was never been comfortable and lift the bag of books and go in the bus. She hated travelling in that bus. She didn’t have an option but to go through this routine for six days a week. How she would love to come out of this routine. Then she heard a voice.. “Sheetal, go to sleep now otherwise you’ll be late tomorrow”. She loved it much better when she was home till last month. One day her parents got her new clothes, a bag and new books and started telling her that she is now a big girl and has to go to a new place during the day. They call it something that starts with a pre-.

---------

Life has never been the same since he saw her that morning while waiting at the traffic signal. He saw her walking on the footpath, talking to her friends and then the smile and a gentle breeze flowing through her hair. He saw her, but didn’t think she saw him, especially with his helmet on. He never felt like this before. Before he could do something, the signal went green and he had to move. It was a one way and the cops were there and he lost her.

He couldn’t sleep. All he could see was her pretty face. He turned around and saw her lying next to him. He didn’t know whether he was dreaming. He pinched her cheeks and then came a shriek,

“Dude, what are you doing? Can’t you let a guy sleep in peace. I have an exam tomorrow.”

“Hey Charan, what are you doing here?”

“@##!!@#, Who else did you expect? Your grandmother? Did you forget that I live here?”

“Sorry da macha, it was that girl I told you about this morning”

“Shut up and sleep. If you can’t sleep, at least don’t disturb me. I need to clear that exam tomorrow.” Charan paused and saw his face.  “I don’t trust you with that grin on your face. I am out of here.”

Charan turned around and just to play safe, he moved to the next room muttering “Stupid Arjun. Won’t let me sleep in peace.”

Charan put his blanket down and was about to sleep and the fan went off. He started crying. “First it wass Arjun and now it is the electricity. Why the hell don’t they want me to sleep?”

Arjun shut his eyes. But he couldn’t sleep. All he could see was she walking down the road with her smile and the breeze behind her.

------

It has been a tough week for him. Sales were down and he was not making enough money and things were tight at home. And now he has got a warning from his landlord that if he didn’t pay the remaining rent, he will be kicked out of the house. The power has been disconnected. He couldn’t arrange food, let alone other necessities. They were depending on him. It has been raining and the merchandise got wet. He started wondering how he is going to sell them the next morning. He tried covering more ground. He ended up missing customers. He tried staying at a single place, but none turned up there. He had to do something about it. It can’t continue this way. The phone started ringing. He picked up the phone. The voice started on the phone. “Hey Gopi, bad news. There was an accident. A car hit your cart and all the peanuts on the cart fell down into the drain”. Gopi didn’t know how to react. All his investments have literally gone down the drain. He didn’t know what he had to do now.

He got up from his bed, wore his shirt and started from his home.

(To be contd…)

Original one liners

Time for some original one-liners... Please be warned that these might trigger extreme reactions ranging from extreme laughter to extreme banging of your head :-) ...

1. I hate driving this car, but I love driving you crazy

2. If you find that this car is being driven rashly or negligently, then don't come near the car ..

3. If you are reading this, then you are on the wrong side of the road..

4. My heart is not as big as my belly..

5. I want my no-claim bonus. If you want yours, stop reading and start driving…

6. Blackberry alert... Not mine, the cop's..

Arm chair expert - Prelude

Indians are highly opinionated. Everybody has an opinion on every matter. It is so deep that software engineers have opinions on how to improve the quality and quantity of agriculture produce, farmers have opinions on how to win more gold medals in olympics and so on.. Everybody is an arm chair expert. I have noticed this during cricket matches, especially those involving India.. The most common area which is discussed is politics. The current happenings come a close second.. This is hardly noticeable in other developed countries. During the presidential elections in the land of opportunities, I wanted to make small talk with one of the people out there and made the mistake of asking who might win the election. Out came a curt reply that they don't discuss politics and religion.. This incident made me aware of the unique ability of my country men people..

Given that I also share the traits of my fellow citizens, I am starting with a series of posts in my blog  with my opinions on various topics. Will try to cover a topic in each post.

Watch this space for more.

Disclaimer : I am not an expert in any of the topics being discussed in this series. I have tried my level best to be as objective as possible. I am not affiliated to any political party or NGO. The intention here is not to just anybody's sentiments. In case if you feel otherwise, please pardon me.

October 30th

October 30th is a big red letter day in Indian history... This is the day our country comes onto the global map big time..
This is because of the F1 Indian GP happening that day. This has bought Metallica here for a grand performance..

Am seriously looking forward to both of these events..

Jai Ho !!!

KISS

Hmmm.. life.. Sometimes it feels too easy and some times too difficult.. What might be the reason????

The problem is that we think too much and complicate the matters.. I have heard of the term KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) ... Makes a lot of sense.. Everywhere starting from life to software...

Why am I thinking like this.. This is the reason why I haven't blogged for ages.. Thinking too hard to get a topic and by the time I got it, was too tired to blog on it... Anyways I am back (this time hopefully I blog more regularly)..

Till next time Ta Ta!!!!

Safe travel???

Hey everyone, been a long time since I posted on this blog. Loads of things have changed since I last blogged. The year 2009 has gone by in a flash. The world economy has yo-yo'd back from a recession. Least of it all(???), Metalhead is going to lose his bachelor's and (soon to be) Mrs Metalhead will gain her masters in a few weeks time..
So, that sort of explains the absence of Metalhead from the blogosphere. Lack of interesting topics was one of the main reasons Metalhead has been missing from action.
I had read in the newspapers that there was an unsuccessful attempt to blow up a flight on the way to the land of opportunities. The impact of this was huge. On another flight to the same place, a poor guy had a stomach upset. He made quite a few trips to the loo, which was noticed and handed over to the authorities as a possible "suspect". Suspect for what? Being gastronomically challenged!!! ..
Voila!! there comes new rules on the flights in the air space of the land of opportunities..
1. Passengers should not get up from the seat one hour before the flight lands
2. Nothing to be kept on the laps
3. Passengers shouldn't reach their bags.. and etc...
After reading this, my brain started working overtime and came up with some better ideas to improve safety in travel
1. Passengers to declare while checking in, whether they expect temporary illness like stomach upset, vomitting, food poisoning(Chances are bleak, as food is not usually offered in the flight), which requires frequent trips to the loo during flight.
2. Footwear not be worn on foot, rather carried in a transparent plastic bag
3. Passengers should wear diapers similar to the astronauts during flight (This will be available for a nominal fee).. Otherwise, risk being a "suspect".
4. Stainless steel clamps to replace seat belts to hold passengers onto the seats during the complete flight.
5. Only clothes certified "safe" by the authorities to be worn by passengers. This includes undergarments..

Let me know if you guys have some ideas to make our travel safe.. If this continues, I think people will start using horses and mules for transportation, rather go thru all these hassles...
Hmm.. thatz food for thought.. Till next time Ta Ta!!!

Metalhead's tips while travelling..

Life sure is funny... Sometimes funny doesn't make you laugh.. Just like most of jokes, which I crack which are "funny"... I have seen people react to my jokes with more tears than what they usually have after watching King Kahn's movies ... BTW, the spelling mistake is intentional :-P ..

Coming back to my statement.. I say this because it has been some time since I left home to the land of opportunities and when I look back, I was surprised to notice that I have been travelling abroad quite a bit.. So what is a blog without a travelogue? So here is one in this blog...

While most of the people blog about their experience and adventures while travelling.. I thought I will post this based on my (mis)adventures during my travels.. So here comes the list of tips on what not to do while travelling, exclusively from the vaults of Metalhead's wisdom (However minute it may be)..

TIP 1:
Don't look at strangers undergoing extra security check @ the departure gate.. especially if they belong to your country or thereabouts..

POSSIBLE OUTCOMES :
You might have to answer lots of questions to a security officer, whose english is barely understandable.. Better be careful.. especially while answering questions like .. Do you have training in Chemical and Biological weapons... The answer maybe : I am a bio-chemical weapon.. I generate Bio-chemical gases on a regular basis.. Remember this, if you give this answer, you might end up in a cell eating cockroaches.. YUCK!!!

TIP 2 :
Never assume that the gate number printed on your boarding pass is the correct one

POSSIBLE OUTCOMES:
You might end up as Usain Bolt's distant cousin .. especially while running to the right gate.. Running fast with a heavy cabin bag is not fun.. It is not fun for your co-passengers on the plane, as you will be stinking pretty badly after your run :-) ..

TIP 3 :
Sleep in the plane, but not at the departure gate..

POSSIBLE OUTCOMES :
You might miss your plane.. But you might forget your ipod on da seat where you were catching forty winks, while trying to catch the plane..

TIP 4 :
When you are catching a bus to the airport.. Check whether the bus goes to the airport..

POSSIBLE OUTCOMES :
You might end up on the wrong side of the city.. Best case scenario, you might get a chance to run back to the bus station and catch the correct bus... Worst case scenario, you may irritate the driver.. :-) ..

As I continue travelling.. there will be more tips.. Watch this space for more..

Till next time .. Ta Ta ..

Not another review!!!

Looks like an impression is created that good ol' Metalhead has gone soft recently. Well, he has not gone soft. In fact, he is exploring some random thoughts, which are a bit ummm.. err... un-Metalhead-ian.. :-) ..

I guess people might feel that it is high time that Metalhead started reviewing his style.

Oh no!!! not again.. not the R-word again...nope, I am not talking about one of my earlier posts.. In fact this is the word "Review" .. There are quite a lot people who make a fortune on Reviews and lots of people waiting to make a fortune(?????) on reviews...

Whenever I open a book or newspaper, there is a movie review awaiting me.. In case, I visit some music site, they have a link to view Music reviews.. Then comes the book reviews, vehicle reviews, mobile reviews and so on ... aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!!! Oh God!! Please save me from the reviews.. Hopefully he will review my prayer... oh oh!! there comes the word again...

How did I come to loathe this word ??? Lemme review the past for your benefit... Sorry people!!! I'm trying my best to remove this word from my vocabulary.. For my convenience and your inconvenience , from now on in this post, I will use the abbreviated form "R*" in place of the word "Review"... Nah!!! After a R* of this post, I think it will be better to use the word, because I don't want to drive the readers away.. he he he

Let us review(formerly, R*) the time before I entered the corporate world, I was a student who did not have any qualm about any reviews, except the ones for my marks... Then I entered into the big bad Reviewing world of software engineers... Then started the reviews in my life ....

It started on tate fateful day during my training in my company. There was a session on Software Engineering principles ..(For the uninitiated, it means how best to develop a project.. All I knew then was that we had to write some code.. This said that we need to do other things, which takes more time than writing code :-).. ) .. this was similar to the title of one of my subjects during my college... But being the guy I am, I don't remember anything beyond that... Looks like I have a long term memory loss problem (akin to Ghajini, Amir Khan and Surya now have a fierce competitor :-P )... Coming back to the training, the instructor introduced a new word.. "Review".. Well it wasn't new.. But it took a new meaning henceforth..

There are different types of review in the Software World... Peer review, Code review, Design Review, Test case review, Estimation review, etc.. and then comes the deadliest of all.. Performance Review..
So basically, everything we do needs to be reviewed.. It is good that we don't have to review other aspects in the Software world like eating, and the aftermath of all the eating..

Initially, when I was the reviewee (the guy whose work always gets reviewed, or in short the fall guy), I used to wonder what the fuss was all about.. Shouldn't the work be done correctly the first time.. Well, as I kept on working up the corporate food chain (For the record ,am still very low on the food chain, my place is very similar to bacteria on the food chain), I understand that work will not be done correctly the first time around.. Oops!! let me not spill the secrets of this business.. let me change my statement.. I meant things "may" not be done correctly the first time around .. so the need to review things..

Even though I was stuck in reviews in office, I felt that reviews will not affect my life.. Then came the revelation.. One of the days, I was planning to go out for lunch with my friends.. I realized how reviews have come to haunt my life.. I was looking out for Restaurant reviews... Aaarghh!!! Didn't realize how much I have come to rely on reviews... How can I end up trusting some person's taste buds..

The people in the place I stay in now rely a lot on the reviews .. Even to the extent of weather reviews.. Ok.. I am exaggerating :-) ..

Instead of meandering meaninglessly over this.. I came to realize over time that reviews are just like our hair.. It is of no use.. But it is pretty difficult to survive without it..

Till next time.. Ta ta :-) ....

Marriage (food) blues

Hello readers.. Been more than a year since I blogged.. It was a combination of factors which didn't let me write a single post during the year of 2008.. Finally I have got a chance to blog something...

Lots of things have happened in my life during this year.. both professionally and personally..

Got promoted in early 2008 and now have more responsibility on my shoulders .. Travelled twice to the land of opportunities(!!!).. At the time of publishing this post.. am still here..

My sibling got married, my best friend got married and am in the dock now...

Looks like there is no escaping fate now..

Lots of my friends have got married and some of them are about to get married..

One real bad thing about living away from home during this phase is that I am missing loads of marriage food.. Hope I do get to return back before all my friends get married...

More than worrying about my marriage (which is very uncertain), I am really worried about missing all the different varieties of food, which will be served in marriages..

On that somber note, I am signing off .. Till next time.. Ta Ta...

????? - a short story

Disclaimer : The characters and events in this story are fictious . Any resemblance to those living or dead is a pure coincidence.


Dear readers,
This is my first attempt writing a thriller.. Please feel free to let me know whether you liked this.


PART 1 :

I woke up in the morning as always. My head was hurting. This has been happening for sometime now. I need to get my head examined yet again. Hospitals have become my second home now. Yet nobody was in a position to tell me what is wrong. I have this real bad feeling about this, which can't be explained.I got up and drank some tea. This is the only solace I have from this. I got myself dressed and drove upto the hospital. I am meeting the best-among-the-best neurologist Dr. Misra. I went to meet him and handed out all my previous medical reports. He started to have a look at all the reports .I picked my reports and headed home. I was pretty happy the way things went in the hospital and hoped that everything will be sorted out .


PART 2 :

This has been one of the worst months in my career. The case of murdered docs has been hitting my department and we have been working over time to crack this. The murders have been very gruesome and there were no clues available.The methods adopted have been inconsistent. But we still have a reason to believe that it was the same guy who has been doing this. Got a call from the control room that the famous neurologist Dr.Misra has been murdered in a gruesome manner in his home. There goes another life!! This is getting worse.


PART 3:

Felt like it has been a long day. I don't particularly remember having a lot of work in office. But am feeling damn tired.Time to hit the sack. I decided to take the medicines which Dr.Misra had prescribed. The medicine cover was soggy. Looks like the syrup has spilt in the cover. I threw away the cover and went to sleep.


PART 4:

Who said cops have all the perks!! we have to stay up all night and dig up clues from stuff near which no other person will dare to go. This murder is as mysterious as the previous ones. The only thing common to previous murders is the white powder which is present. Forensic reports were stating that this is nothing but powdered sugar. Why would someone leave powdered sugar?? Beats me!!

PART 5:

Another morning and my head hurts more. Took my tea and saw the news item in the news paper.

"FAMOUS NEUROLOGIST DR.MISRA MURDERED"
This is really strange. This is the fifth neurologist who has been murdered the past month. This is not getting any better. How come all the doctors I go for consultation are being murdered. Something is not right!!!


PART 6:

I don't know how I got into this mess. I am all tied up and am in the trunk of this car. Looks like there is no way to escape. The car has stopped. I Wonder what's happening and why this is happening. Hear a thud and the car is rolling downwards. How long will this go on!! The car stopped and water is coming in. Looks like I have reached the end. Never thought this day would come so soon.This cannot end like this.


PART 7:

Where am I and why am I standing here looking at the sea. Looks like a car is drowning.. Gotta save the people in the car.. The trunk is locked and I can see someone in there. I can feel a key in my pocket.. Good god!! the trunk opened with this key.. he is unconscious.. poor guy!! I wonder how he ended up in this car. I took him to the shore. Went through his pockets.. Looks like he is a cop. He looks familiar, but am unable to recognise him.. I called the police and ambulance.. They arrived here and took him away in an ambulance.. Hope that he can recover fully..


PART 8:

Am I alive?? That was the question which I had in my mind when I opened my eyes. I looked around and could see some of my friends who were very much alive. Thank God!! I need to nail the creep who did this to me.. The doctor had a look at me and he said I need bed rest for a month.. I don't have one month save more people from being his victm!!!


PART 9:

What the hell happened to my car?? Did I park it in my garage yesterday evening. It is nowhere to be seen on the road. Is it stolen , nah!! I don't think so. Lemme check my garage....The cop I saved yesterday he looked very familiar.. Nice mirror.. Hey!! I can see his face in the mirror.. Was it me?? How can I save myself?? I can't move my hands.. Why are my hands tied?? Hey this is not my garage!! This looks more like a jail.. Where am I?? Why am I put in a jail?? What did I do?? What is happening to me..


PART 10:

"This case is one of the most peculiar cases I have ever seen". Dr Misra remarked to his students, outside a cell in NIMHANS. "His name is Mark Daniel, a former cop. One of the best we ever had. While attempting to capture a smuggler, he was hit on the head and left for the dead inside a trunk of the car under the sea. He escaped death, instead he got something worse. He lives in a different world and has a lot of hallucinations. He is aware of the real world only for some time. A bad thing to happen to a great guy.Hope God takes him out of his misery."

-THE END-

I will be back....

This is one of the most famous dialogues, rather punch dialogues... After watching quite a lot of South Indian movies... I saw the movie "Terminator"... and this dialogue just passes by, without any special effects that accompany a punch dialogue... I still wonder how that became one of the greatest punch dialogues.. hmmmm.. that is food for thought..

I guess you'll be wondering why I had a random thought regarding this dialogue... Good Question.. Very Good Question... Next Question ;-) ....

I am back in the blogosphere after an extended and forced break.. where I wanted to blog a lot, yet ended up blogging nothing for a very long time.. I AM BACK... Just wait for some time to see the carnage around the blogosphere..

Now, don't ask me when I changed my name to BACK..he he he..

My very own Top 10 show

Being a guy, who has been spoilt big time by various channels on television, yours truly has been spending quite a lot of time in seeing Top 10 shows i.e., Top 10 movies, Top 10 songs, Top 10 comedy scenes, Top 10 serials, Top 10 news, and so on....

I have been thinking quite sometime on why and how this term got coined.. Why not Top 200 or Top 1000 or Top 420 or Top 2 or Top 3.. in short Top n, where n is not equal to 10 and ranges between 0 and infinity.. Anyways, this post is not about the technicalities and origins of Top 10 shows...

After all these,it is high time before I launched my very own Top 10 show.. So came up with some ideas.. Here comes the Top 10 ideas for my Top 10 show ...

Here is our list for the Top 10 Top 10 shows

At No. 10 ... Top 10 Ramsay brothers' horror shows

At No.9 ... Top 10 Long lasting Soaps (No.. not the long lasting detergent soap.. i am talking about television soaps, which are more horrifying the ketchup filled horror shows)

At No.8 ... Top 10 spam mails

At No.7 ... Top 10 Annoying sounds

At No.6 ... Top 10 posts of my blog..( he he he .. how could I leave this??)

No.5 ... Top 10 VTR movies.. (Refer my previous post - A Very TRagic movie)

No.4 ... Top 10 Bappi Lahiri look-alikes

No.3 ... Top 10 Paris Hilton's silly stories

No.2 ... Top 10 Indian farmers (no not the real ones... just the reel ones)

and the No.1 spot goes to

Top 10 evergreen college heroes (The guys who play da role of college students even when they are 60 .. ;-) )

I am open to more suggestions.. am awaiting them from u guys (I mean you )..

Till next time .. Ta Ta

Very TRagic movie

Sometime, the past week, I was bored, not sure what to do.. So I decided to watch this movie by name "Veerasamy" ...

For the benefit of the readers, who don't know tamil and / or tamil movies.. "Veerasamy" is a recently released tamil movie, which is almost a one-man show..

This is how the opening credits roll out


Production
Direction
Story
Lyrics
Cinematography
Screenplay
Music
Dialogues
Catering(!!!)
Audience (????)

by

Vijay T Rajender M.A (a.k.a V T R, formerly known as T Rajender M.A formerly a.k.a T R)

This appears everytime our hero delivers a punch dialogue. BTW, every dialogue in this movie is a punch dialogue ... it is a punch delivered on the audience, for their choice of movie..

No prizes for guessing who is the hero, comedian, heroine.. oops ignore the last one... it is our very own V T R...
Luckily for us, he has got a well groomed(!!!) and pasted beard, due to which he cannot disguise as the heroine.

After this introduction, I doubt whether you would want to read a review of this movie.. In case, you still want to read the review, then may God save you...

The story is very simple. The hero(V T R, who is also director-cum-producer-cum-story writer-cum-caterer-cum-music director of this movie) is a good samaritan, who helps needy people.. In order to help people, he joins politics and wins an election .. Thanks to his verbal punches at the villains and the dear audience.. Then you have his sister, who loves his arch-nemesis' younger brother (surprise!! surprise!!), who delivers a long dialogue, which makes us reach for the paper napkins.. You also have a heroine whose purpose is .. nah!! forget it .. totally irrelevant to the movie and its audience.

The travails of our hero lands him in trouble with the corrupt politicians, police officers, audience of this movie.. and finally our hero dies surprisingly without speaking a dialogue..

Officially, this movie is intended to belong to action genre. But unintentionally it has ended up as a comedy movie. The audience started laughing during the emotional scenes.

V T R rocks (just like a baby in a cradle) as usual with his rhyming punch dialogues, rhythmic dance steps and amazing emotions, which ends up as a good stand up comedy. Jerry Seinfeld, step aside!! you are no match to VTR. I love the scene, where our beloved V T R jumps thru the roof and hits the villain. I have never laughed so much looking at an action scene.

Not recommended for people to see alone, especially in theatres.

Rating : Sorry dude, no stars, maybe one black hole..

I would like to end this post with a punch dialogue from V T R. During a TV interview,a reporter asked V T R about how he felt about his son's success in the Tamil movie industry, he replied in a typical VTR style "Maankottailendu Maamaram-than varum" (Translation : From a mango seed, you can only get a mango tree)... I thought we could grow apple trees using mango seeds, oh stupid me!!!!

P.S : I admire V T R. Even after taking a lot of flak from everyone, he dares to make movies his way and be himself. Also, it takes a lot of effort being everything in a movie. This guy is never short of energy, even though the end result is vastly different from what he expects.

Thanks Everyone

In case, you hadn't noticed before, there's this teeny-weeny thing at the bottom of my blog which is known as a site meter. It gives me information about the location of people who have visited my blog so far alongwith..

According to this image from the sitemeter, I have had readers across the world, making this a truly international blog ;-) ..

A huge THANKS to all who have visited and recommended my blog to their friends...

It is this kind of encouragement, which keeps me going on and on (just like the energizer ad)...

Hope to have a rocking time through this blog in the future...

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN

Eight years ago.....

It ended in the year 1998, eight years ago.. Seems like yesterday.. or maybe day before ..

Welcome to my school days, where I was younger,shorter,lighter and had less facial hair ... Those were the days..

Gone were the days, where I dreaded wearing a tie everyday, used to bite nails during assembly so as to not get punished, used to smuggle my wrist watch in my bag to my class, used to fight with my class girls for trivial matters, used to hide corrected answer sheets in my bag away from my parents, used to eat during class, had the odd treat with my close friends at a fast food joint, having 10 Rupees in my pocket was a huge joy, enjoyed speaking in front of an audience and so on....

As time went by, those joys slowly diminished...
When I reminiscent abt those days now, I always end up having a smile on my face wondering whether it was really me doing all those???

You might be wondering why I have become nostalgic all of a sudden. My class from school had a reunion last September and I was looking at some of those snaps.. It was good fun, looking at an older version of a person with whom a lot of time was spent and recognizing him / her... As kids we fought, and now as adults, we are good friends.. It is amazing how time changes our perspective...
We were school-children, without any worry (except marks in the tests and exams) 8 yrs back and now, we are professionals, who have a career and life to worry about..

Just like a famous Metallica song which goes Ash to Ash, Dust to Dust, Fade to Black , but the memory remains... the memory always remains..

The height of irrelevance

It has been a big change living away from Bengalooru for the past few months.I am missing the place, which I am proud to call my own.

The events last week in Namma Bengalooru left a bad taste in my mouth, and was tongue tied out here unable to defend my city and country.

Let us look at the reason why this happened. A former dictator in a faraway land was executed (and there were no protests there) and there were protests three weeks later (I will not be surprised if this had happened three years later) in Bangalore, burning the effigies of people who hardly matter to us or our everyday life and all of a sudden indulged in violence, bringing the city to a stand-still. Then came the reaction to that and another round of violence. Unfortunately, Newton's third law held good here, which was not good for us :-(..

My first reaction was shock. What nonsense is happening in a place like Bengalooru?? There are a lot of problems faced by our country, namely Terrorism by those not-so-friendly cowards (a.k.a terrorists) everywhere, poverty, lack of development & infrastructure, rise in crime and many more.. There are no protests against these problems.. but why the hell do we need to have a violent protest for some dead guy in a really far off land.. It beats me.. There are many peaceful ways to protest.. Wear a black badge or have a candle light march ... Why do you want to disrupt common people's peace of mind and damage public property which belongs to us, the citizens? This holds good for those people who retaliated. An eye for an eye is not a solution to any problem..

What did the people who protested and indulged in violence achieve by this? An ex-MP, who was almost lost in the oblivion, is back in the news. Is this the price to be in the news?? Damage of public property,injuries to people, loss of life and most importantly a dent in Bengalooru's reputation.

Let us not forget that Bengalooru is being watched worldwide and this kind of negative publicity is what we can do without. Let me add another thing. The newspapers in the place I stay , just need a minute reason to damage India's reputation.. Incidents like this is what they are looking forward to.

To compund this, I noticed the protests and burning of cricketers' effigies which were happening due to the non performance of our cricket team. If people are 0.1 % as passionate about the performance of their respective governing bodies like municipalities, corporations, governments, all these bodies will be on tenterhooks and will perform well and most of our problems will be solved..

This shows the amount of time we are wasting on irrelevant issues and lack of attention to important issues...

BTW, I have a suggestion for those politicians and political party members who still want to protest against that particular execution.. We the citizens can start a fund , so that we can sponsor the tickets and visas of these politicos to that country to protest. This cost would be much cheaper than the cost of violence and loss of peace of mind out here. In addition, we have the chance that these people may not make it back, which will help us and our country in the long run.

The only solution is to ask the so-called champions of justice to "TAKE A HIKE" and let us concentrate on issues which are relevant to our country and our lives..

The Rain - A short story

Disclaimer : The characters and events in this story are fictious . Any resemblance to those living or dead is a pure coincidence.

As I sit next to the window, I see beautiful droplets of water on the leaves, moist sky and green grass. The rain makes everything look beautiful.. As I saw the rain get heavier, my memory jogged back to a time not so long ago....

I was a happy-go-lucky guy, with no care about the world, living everyday as it was the last. All I wanted to was enjoy life to the fullest. It was just another day or it seemed so in the morning on the way to office... and then it started raining in the evening. All I felt was that it was just another rainy day,with flooded streets and serpentine traffic jams and it would be a very long drive back home..

I started driving back home and as feared got stuck in a traffic jam.. But, was it worth getting stuck in a traffic jam? .. this was worth it.. I saw a dark shadow jumping on the puddles on the footpath and enjoying the rain.. as the shadow neared me.. I could see the face more clearly.. I started feeling better.. and it seemed like an angel had descended on this wet world.. and I yearned to see the angel better.. and as she came close to my car.. i could see her round blue eyes ,flowing hair, the dimple in her cheeks and the beautiful smile.. and I was in a different world.. and there came the rude awakening.. a shrill horn!!!

The traffic started moving .. and she had disappeared... Looks like my luck had deserted me as usual.. I never had any luck in my life.. I started moving again .. but this time around, I enjoyed the rain and the thought of that angel.. Who was she? Will I ever see her again??

To this day, I hope that I can catch a glimpse of her again in my life and my hope increases every time it rains.. Who is she?? She is my angel, my beautiful angel...

Author's footnote : We see a lot of people day in and day out. There are some unknown people whom we remember for some good reasons and yearn to meet. This is such a story where the protogoanist may or may not meet that girl again...